Tuesday, October 19, 2010

On Tumblr and Writing (Mostly on Writing)

I made a Tumblr account last week, for a few possible reasons. I, myself, not sure which one comes first: the reasons and then the making of the account or the making and then the justifications later.

I am well aware that I might come off like a complete bubblehead who is not even aware of her own thoughts processing, but it's true. It happens a lot, too! And for that reason, I don't think I'll be able to stop writing even if I want to. Not that I think I write good, but more because writing to me has become a necessity. I need to write for the sake of my mental health.


No, I'm not going cuckoo if you're wondering. Not even close. It's just that there are many times when I have so much up here in my head, I don't know which goes first. Truth No.6 definitely holds true for me:
So you see, writing is my way of decluttering the boxes and boxes of thoughts I have up in my attic. Writing them out helps me organize them.

I used to be a very reserved kid. A very timid one I could say. I didn't talk much and I won't go anywhere if my Mom is not going. I spent many years of Chinese New Year sitting among the elders of the family, watching and listening to them although I could barely understand the Chinese dialect they are all talking in. My cousins would all play together, but I won't. I stick to my parents wherever they go.
Although I'm a much more outgoing and outspoken person now, I think a part of me is still that reserved and timid girl.

I guess that's how I grow fond of reading and writing. In a way, it allows me to escape my own little shell while still being in the comfort of it. They make a really good combination together. They both helped me expand the horizons of my then really small world from the lack of social interactions. Reading allows me to "go" places I wouldn't otherwise go, "meeting" people I wouldn't otherwise meet, "listening" to their stories which I wouldn't otherwise hear and get to know things which I wouldn't otherwise know. Writing allows me to "talk".

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, if I may say so, I didn't really have anyone to turn to. As much as I want to have others to share with, I didn't think sharing about one's family issues makes a very good choice. I didn't think friends my age could do much to help either. So, I resorted to pens and papers. They are my confidant. The habit grows with me as I grow older - I don't look for people to share, I look for something I can write on. I guess that would explain why I express myself better in writing than I do verbally.

"Why and how did you resort to reading and writing instead of the many other possible things you could do?" you may ask. To be perfectly honest, I have not a single clue. Somehow someway, I found myself spending my break time in the school's library or staying in a bookstore when my parents were going around the mall. My parents are not book-readers. I don't think I've ever seen them read any. They didn't read me to sleep, nor did they raise me up chanting "You must read!", nor did they educate me on the importance of reading. The only possible explanation I could come up with for my fondness towards reading and writing is that it's innate.

I have a story told by my Mom which could support the aforementioned conclusion. It's a story about my first birthday bash. Other than feasting, a Chinese baby's first birthday is also celebrated with a "baby grab" tradition. Being the firstborn of a conservative Chinese family, I was definitely one baby not to be exempted from that tradition. The way the tradition works is that my Mom would lay out several assorted items on the floor - such as money, toys, pens, foods, books, tools etc - and see which one I will go for. Apparently, out of all the things laid out, I reached out and grabbed the pens and books. So, I guess that could make one proof that my amusement of books and pens started early in life. Oh! The tradition also says that whichever item that a baby reaches for will have some bearing on his/her future. I guess that one is proven true for my case.

FYI, just in case that you're thinking of testing it on your (future) baby, the choices are not limited to those items only. You can throw in a cooking pan, soccer ball, cheerleading poms-poms, make up items, clothes, whatever you can think of. I think it makes a fun little "fortune telling" game =)

Back to Tumblr.
I made an account, made several posts but not quite sure what more to do or if I want to continue posting there. I love Tumblr. I think it has a great user interface. However, based on my humble and personal opinion, it has a microblog feel to it, which I am so not. I can post long posts if I want to, but somehow it doesn't feel right. I think it works great for those blogs that are niched, targeted and focused on a certain kind of topic - such as fashion, photography, cooking and baking, collections of black and white pictures, pictures of the contents of people's bag etc - but not for my kind of blog in which I talk about random, unorganized set of topics.

There are times when I wish I have a specialty that I can write about. You know how people are not necessarily good in many things but there is this one thing that they're passionate about and are really good at? I wish I have that one thing. After 20+ years of life, I have yet to figure it out. From my curious nature, I tried out a variety of things, which resulted in me having somewhat  a wide span of interests. That, in turn, resulted in me doing a little bit here and a little bit there and not really focusing on anything. So I ended up liking many things, being okay (at best) in doing them and good at nothing in particular. Oh well... I guess the future is still yet to unfold.

Initially, I planned on just doing a short post about Tumblr, but scrolling up... Wow! This is really long. I guess my fingers have more to say than I thought =p

1 comment:

  1. This post only means one thing...you gotta write moreee!=D And who told you that you don't write good? You write amazing!

    Keep it comin' =)))

    ReplyDelete