All is well

It hasn't been easy for a while. Apart from the time when I had to go through my parents' divorce, these days are the darkest. Many times I'd feel so lost at sea and really alone and I can't see anyone in sight.

However, a few hours ago, I received an e-mail from a faraway friend and I was wondering when I saw the sender's name because it's been a while since the last time we were in touch. This is what she wrote:

Hi Sier. How are you? I was praying and I saw you. Are you alright? How's your heart? I had the impression that you are broken and God is healing your heart.

That short e-mail lifted me up. It brought a surge of encouragement. It's like what she said was exactly what I needed to hear. I could feel love exudes from that e-mail. I am ever so grateful that she took the time to write that e-mail to check up on me.

Indeed, He is a knowing God. He knows just the kind of encouragement that I needed and He provides. Through that friend of mine and her e-mail, He lets me know that I am not alone; that He has taken me under His wings, covers me and is healing my wounds; that everything is going to be alright because He watches over me and is working behind the scene on my behalf; that I am dearly loved.

All is well, my dear heart. All is well.

"You can tell me. I won't judge" Thanks, but no thanks.

As a person, I'm not one who trust other people easy. In fact, it is one of the hardest thing to do. I have a uber low tendency to confide in anyone. I don't think it's so much about me not wanting to, but about me being (pre)programmed that way.

Since my pre-teen single-digit age, I had to learn to take matters into my own hands and deal with them on my own. My parents were too drained and exhausted from the issues they had to deal with and were almost impossible to ask for suggestions and advices from. Being the eldest kid in the family doesn't help either. I don't have an older brother or sister to rely on. Instead, I had my younger brother relying on me. So, I grew up making (major) decisions and figuring things out on my own; ranging from learning how to do a ponytail way back in kindergarten, to deciding on what major to take in university and everything you could possibly imagine in between.
(I consider figuring out how to do a French braid on my own in elementary school, sans how-to articles or videos or pointers from anyone, as one of my greatest accomplishments.)

So, you see, I'm not used to confiding and asking for advices, inputs, suggestions and the whole shebang. When I see something I need to figure out, I'll do so quietly. I don't tell anyone anything. Not even my bestest good friends. So when someone who talks to me only on a hi-bye basis suddenly come to me and say:
"Hey! someone tell me that pshshspshshspshshshs. Is it true? You can tell me. I won't judge."
Albeit silently, I would go:
"Rrrrrright........"
Regardless of whether or not that person means well, I am sceptical. Perhaps even more towards someone who throw the I-won't-judge bait.
Even if I really do have anything at all, why would I share it with someone that I barely talk to?

I don't know what makes people think that they can come to anyone and say that they won't judge, and expect that person to immediately trust them and answer their question. Such things require some kind of a special relationship and we all know that more than just mere hi-bye conversations are needed for such a relationship.
That, and also, humans are wired to judge. We actually need a sense of sound judgment for our existence, as an individual and a society.

"I think that food has gone bad, I better not eat it"
Surprise! We judge our food! In fact, according to my humble and personal opinion, or judgment, for that matter, any sort of opinion is a judgment. We do judge daily. We judge so much we'll do them without thinking and without necessarily having the intention to. I, personally, think that it's almost impossible not to judge. But, it's not the judging that matters so much as to how you judge and what you do with your judgment.
We can say, "(S)he's messed up" and then avoid him/her like a disease and/or talk nasty stuff about him/her to most moving objects OR we could extend grace and help him/her out in any possible way (not taking part in spreading it like wildfires is also one form of help)

With all due respect, I humbly plead, please don't use such lines. Especially if you don't mean it and/or the only intention is to squeeze some juice out. When people are confident in you, they will be the ones that look for you to tell you things.
Questions and (false) assurances won't open one's heart to share. Genuineness and sincereness will, and they take time to prove. There's no shortcut to it.

In which I talk about Tumblr (again)

I think I'm getting the hang of Tumblr and have somewhat figured out the things I want to do and write about there. So far so good. I quite enjoy it I must say. One of the things I love is how they have different formats for different posting types, such as pictures, videos, texts, audios etc.

I was thinking of importing some of the contents I have on my Tumblr to this blog, but I couldn't figure out how since I'm not technologically savvy. I googled, but could only find how to import contents from Blogger to Tumblr, and not the other way round. Help, anyone?

As of current, this is the sort of dilemmas I'm facing:
1. Should I just focus on one blog?
2. If yes, which one should I keep? This or that?
3. Or should I just continue to keep both?

hhhhmmmmmmm......................................................

Anywho, if you're interested to check my Tumblr out, here's the link

♥
L.M.P

It's All in the Master's Hands

I was posting a YouTube video on my Tumblr when one of my favorite movie lines kicked in and clicked.

The video I posted is a MysteryGuitarMan's titled "Bali Instruments".
Note: I will refer to MysteryGuitarMan as MGM from this point onwards for the sake of simplicity and convenience.

On Tumblr and Writing (Mostly on Writing)

I made a Tumblr account last week, for a few possible reasons. I, myself, not sure which one comes first: the reasons and then the making of the account or the making and then the justifications later.

I am well aware that I might come off like a complete bubblehead who is not even aware of her own thoughts processing, but it's true. It happens a lot, too! And for that reason, I don't think I'll be able to stop writing even if I want to. Not that I think I write good, but more because writing to me has become a necessity. I need to write for the sake of my mental health.

Looking Beyond the Dark

They say that we should not be afraid of being thrown into the lowest pit of lives, because there is only one way to go from there, up!
Yes it's true. However, we have one question to ask, "How do we climb up?"
A climbing skill and know-how sure comes in handy, but even more so, we need hope and strength..
Seeing the way and actually going in its direction are two completely different things. One can see the way and still not go on it because of the lack of hope and strength.
 
I sure do pray that when we are surrounded by the darkness of the pit, we will not only be able to see the way, but also to find enough hope to not give up on ourselves and  enough strength to climb up. Even if the whole world has given up on us, life does not stop until the moment we decided that there is no more hope and let ourselves go.

"Some People Feel the Rain. Others Just Get Wet"

As a little girl, I remember seeing my then teenager cousin who was born and is growing up in Hong Kong wearing a t-shirt with the face of a seemingly skinny man with a weird hairstyle printed on it. My cousin himself was just as skinny, if not skinnier, and was wearing the same hairstyle, which I will later find out is called "dreadlocks".

"This is Bob Marley." he told me in English with his Hong Kong accent, with obvious pride beaming from his face. I'm not quite sure where the beam came from nor why he would wear a t-shirt with a Bob Marley's face on it and wears the same dreadlocks. I could only come up with 3 possible reasons:

One of those days when I'm being random

Hungry hungry
I am hungry
Table table
Here I come
I can eat a goose-moose burger
15 pickles and purple plum




The above, ladies and gentlemen, is a song I learned while I was doing a temp. teaching in a pre-school. Since then, I've been singing to the song every single time I'm hungry. It has become one of the soundtracks of my life, and I don't even like pickles. Nor do I have a picture in my mind (nor succeeded to look one up from Google Images) for a goose-moose burger. I wonder.....

The Prince and(or) The Mice(?)

Cinderella, a name so famous almost nobody on this planet Earth have not heard about.
With utmost conviction, I would say that Cinderella is my all-time favorite fairy tale. I watched the one made by Disney for only about a thousand times as a five-years-old, way back when DVD was 10 times the size it is today and known by a completely different name, the Laser Disc.

I would watch Cinderella every single day after school while eating my lunch, and again on dinner time. I just had to get my daily twice-a-day dose of Cinderella. But unfortunately, clumsy-me today was also clumsy back then. One day, my teeny tiny hands dropped the disc and broke it to pieces and I cried an ocean, devastated. For some reasons that I couldn't remember today, my parents refused to get me a new disc. Eventually, without realizing, the day came when I no longer look for my Cinderella disc.

Walk Through Life and No Left Turns

It's been awhile since I last posted.

Remember the other post that I was talking about? The one that's still a work-in-progress. Well, I haven't touch it since...........I can't remember.

Nope, I have not forgotten about it. On the contrary, there will always be a point in time in my every day when I would remember and think of it.

Why do I put it aside then? Honestly, I'm not sure. I guess I just need to take my time on that one.
This I can guarantee: it WILL be posted... someday. What I can't guarantee, though, is when.

For the time being, here is what I want to share:

Postcards and Secrets

For my birthday last December, a dear friend of mine gave me a copy of PostSecret: A Lifetime of Secrets, one of the books from the PostSecret series. I've known about this project for about 3 years now and have been meaning to get the books since I first laid eyes on the pages of the first PostSecret book, but I don't know why I didn't.

I have finished reading the book this morning and as I read through it, I took pictures of the ones that I like. I like them for various different reasons: some because I could relate to them, some because they voice my own, some for their encouragement, some for their honesty, etc.

I was actually planning to share them on my Twitter, but when I finished reading I ended up with tons of them. I'll flood everyone's Twitter page and it might get annoying to many. So here they are, on my blog.

I am currently working on some other blog post, but it will take some time to finish. So, not wanting to have a big gap in between posts, I think this makes a good intermezzo. Don't you think so? =)

Infinite

Under the surface
More than anything seems
Sounds nobody else notice
Words only voiced in dreams

Knowing stares
Knowing smiles
Hearts hidden
Out in the open

Arms ever extended
But never reach
An infinite distance
Reality might could never bridge

♥
L.M.P

Note:
Above is the second poem I've ever written in my whole entire life this far. Going at this rate, on average, I write about one poem for every 11.5 years. Now you can do the math ;)