It hasn't been easy for a while. Apart from the time when I had to go through my parents' divorce, these days are the darkest. Many times I'd feel so lost at sea and really alone and I can't see anyone in sight.
However, a few hours ago, I received an e-mail from a faraway friend and I was wondering when I saw the sender's name because it's been a while since the last time we were in touch. This is what she wrote:
Hi Sier. How are you? I was praying and I saw you. Are you alright? How's your heart? I had the impression that you are broken and God is healing your heart.
That short e-mail lifted me up. It brought a surge of encouragement. It's like what she said was exactly what I needed to hear. I could feel love exudes from that e-mail. I am ever so grateful that she took the time to write that e-mail to check up on me.
Indeed, He is a knowing God. He knows just the kind of encouragement that I needed and He provides. Through that friend of mine and her e-mail, He lets me know that I am not alone; that He has taken me under His wings, covers me and is healing my wounds; that everything is going to be alright because He watches over me and is working behind the scene on my behalf; that I am dearly loved.
All is well, my dear heart. All is well.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
"You can tell me. I won't judge" Thanks, but no thanks.
As a person, I'm not one who trust other people easy. In fact, it is one of the hardest thing to do. I have a uber low tendency to confide in anyone. I don't think it's so much about me not wanting to, but about me being (pre)programmed that way.
Since my pre-teen single-digit age, I had to learn to take matters into my own hands and deal with them on my own. My parents were too drained and exhausted from the issues they had to deal with and were almost impossible to ask for suggestions and advices from. Being the eldest kid in the family doesn't help either. I don't have an older brother or sister to rely on. Instead, I had my younger brother relying on me. So, I grew up making (major) decisions and figuring things out on my own; ranging from learning how to do a ponytail way back in kindergarten, to deciding on what major to take in university and everything you could possibly imagine in between.
(I consider figuring out how to do a French braid on my own in elementary school, sans how-to articles or videos or pointers from anyone, as one of my greatest accomplishments.)
So, you see, I'm not used to confiding and asking for advices, inputs, suggestions and the whole shebang. When I see something I need to figure out, I'll do so quietly. I don't tell anyone anything. Not even my bestest good friends. So when someone who talks to me only on a hi-bye basis suddenly come to me and say:
"Hey! someone tell me that pshshspshshspshshshs. Is it true? You can tell me. I won't judge."
Albeit silently, I would go:
"Rrrrrright........"
Regardless of whether or not that person means well, I am sceptical. Perhaps even more towards someone who throw the I-won't-judge bait.
Even if I really do have anything at all, why would I share it with someone that I barely talk to?
I don't know what makes people think that they can come to anyone and say that they won't judge, and expect that person to immediately trust them and answer their question. Such things require some kind of a special relationship and we all know that more than just mere hi-bye conversations are needed for such a relationship.
That, and also, humans are wired to judge. We actually need a sense of sound judgment for our existence, as an individual and a society.
"I think that food has gone bad, I better not eat it"
Surprise! We judge our food! In fact, according to my humble and personal opinion, or judgment, for that matter, any sort of opinion is a judgment. We do judge daily. We judge so much we'll do them without thinking and without necessarily having the intention to. I, personally, think that it's almost impossible not to judge. But, it's not the judging that matters so much as to how you judge and what you do with your judgment.
We can say, "(S)he's messed up" and then avoid him/her like a disease and/or talk nasty stuff about him/her to most moving objects OR we could extend grace and help him/her out in any possible way (not taking part in spreading it like wildfires is also one form of help)
With all due respect, I humbly plead, please don't use such lines. Especially if you don't mean it and/or the only intention is to squeeze some juice out. When people are confident in you, they will be the ones that look for you to tell you things.
Questions and (false) assurances won't open one's heart to share. Genuineness and sincereness will, and they take time to prove. There's no shortcut to it.
Since my pre-teen single-digit age, I had to learn to take matters into my own hands and deal with them on my own. My parents were too drained and exhausted from the issues they had to deal with and were almost impossible to ask for suggestions and advices from. Being the eldest kid in the family doesn't help either. I don't have an older brother or sister to rely on. Instead, I had my younger brother relying on me. So, I grew up making (major) decisions and figuring things out on my own; ranging from learning how to do a ponytail way back in kindergarten, to deciding on what major to take in university and everything you could possibly imagine in between.
(I consider figuring out how to do a French braid on my own in elementary school, sans how-to articles or videos or pointers from anyone, as one of my greatest accomplishments.)
So, you see, I'm not used to confiding and asking for advices, inputs, suggestions and the whole shebang. When I see something I need to figure out, I'll do so quietly. I don't tell anyone anything. Not even my bestest good friends. So when someone who talks to me only on a hi-bye basis suddenly come to me and say:
"Hey! someone tell me that pshshspshshspshshshs. Is it true? You can tell me. I won't judge."
Albeit silently, I would go:
"Rrrrrright........"
Regardless of whether or not that person means well, I am sceptical. Perhaps even more towards someone who throw the I-won't-judge bait.
Even if I really do have anything at all, why would I share it with someone that I barely talk to?
I don't know what makes people think that they can come to anyone and say that they won't judge, and expect that person to immediately trust them and answer their question. Such things require some kind of a special relationship and we all know that more than just mere hi-bye conversations are needed for such a relationship.
That, and also, humans are wired to judge. We actually need a sense of sound judgment for our existence, as an individual and a society.
"I think that food has gone bad, I better not eat it"
Surprise! We judge our food! In fact, according to my humble and personal opinion, or judgment, for that matter, any sort of opinion is a judgment. We do judge daily. We judge so much we'll do them without thinking and without necessarily having the intention to. I, personally, think that it's almost impossible not to judge. But, it's not the judging that matters so much as to how you judge and what you do with your judgment.
We can say, "(S)he's messed up" and then avoid him/her like a disease and/or talk nasty stuff about him/her to most moving objects OR we could extend grace and help him/her out in any possible way (not taking part in spreading it like wildfires is also one form of help)
With all due respect, I humbly plead, please don't use such lines. Especially if you don't mean it and/or the only intention is to squeeze some juice out. When people are confident in you, they will be the ones that look for you to tell you things.
Questions and (false) assurances won't open one's heart to share. Genuineness and sincereness will, and they take time to prove. There's no shortcut to it.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
In which I talk about Tumblr (again)
I think I'm getting the hang of Tumblr and have somewhat figured out the things I want to do and write about there. So far so good. I quite enjoy it I must say. One of the things I love is how they have different formats for different posting types, such as pictures, videos, texts, audios etc.
I was thinking of importing some of the contents I have on my Tumblr to this blog, but I couldn't figure out how since I'm not technologically savvy. I googled, but could only find how to import contents from Blogger to Tumblr, and not the other way round. Help, anyone?
As of current, this is the sort of dilemmas I'm facing:
1. Should I just focus on one blog?
2. If yes, which one should I keep? This or that?
3. Or should I just continue to keep both?
hhhhmmmmmmm......................................................
Anywho, if you're interested to check my Tumblr out, here's the link
♥
L.M.P
I was thinking of importing some of the contents I have on my Tumblr to this blog, but I couldn't figure out how since I'm not technologically savvy. I googled, but could only find how to import contents from Blogger to Tumblr, and not the other way round. Help, anyone?
As of current, this is the sort of dilemmas I'm facing:
1. Should I just focus on one blog?
2. If yes, which one should I keep? This or that?
3. Or should I just continue to keep both?
hhhhmmmmmmm......................................................
Anywho, if you're interested to check my Tumblr out, here's the link
♥
L.M.P
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
It's All in the Master's Hands
I was posting a YouTube video on my Tumblr when one of my favorite movie lines kicked in and clicked.
The video I posted is a MysteryGuitarMan's titled "Bali Instruments".
Note: I will refer to MysteryGuitarMan as MGM from this point onwards for the sake of simplicity and convenience.
The video I posted is a MysteryGuitarMan's titled "Bali Instruments".
Note: I will refer to MysteryGuitarMan as MGM from this point onwards for the sake of simplicity and convenience.
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